Who was your role model to be in a relationship? Was it your parents, teachers, friends, other family members? Your environment? Do you think these role models were modelling a healthy relationship, or were there aspects of dysfunction? What do you believe about relationships? What beliefs are driving your bus, so to speak?
Many of us learn from these role models, and as we become more conscious and aware, it’s about stripping back these beliefs, are they real or just picked up because Mum used to believe that? How have you got to where you are in relationship? What has your journey been?
You’ve heard of the Wheel of Life – many have done this exercise numerous times. Well we’ve created a Wheel of Relationship. How is your relationship? Where are you at in your relationship? Is your wheel travelling smoothly, or is it a bit bumpy?
The Relationship Wheel
So we are going to go through each sector, and you need to get a sense of where you are at with your partner, on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being at the ultimate level.
Let’s start at Money – where are you and your partner at with money and finances? Do you have goals, are you on target, are you moving “together” with your financial goals?
Sex – where are you at with satisfaction with your sex life, are you having sex, is it passionate and pleasurable, is it everything you ever imagined?
Intimate Communications – how well do you communicate. Is your communication honest and heart felt? Do you share your emotions, your feelings, who you truly are? Or do you hold back? Do you create a safe space with your partner for communicating? Where are you really at – truly?
Family Friends – if you have a family together, are you on the same page? Do you parent together, or apart? Do you socialise with family and friends together, or apart?
Growth as a Couple – do you support your own growth, do you support each other’s growth, do you encourage each other’s growth, do you acknowledge each other’s growth.
Fun Time – are you having fun time, individually AND as a couple? What do you do together? Is it fun for both of you? Or does one of you control the fun? Is one of you always coming up with the ideas, and the other tagging along? Is this area of your lives in balance? Are you having any fun?
What are you both passionate about doing? Where are you at?
Physical Environment – where you spend time together, how does it feel? How supportive is your environment of your relationship? How fulfilled and happy are you in your environment?
What are you creating? As a couple, what are you birthing? It may be a family, it may be a business – it could be both! Every relationship has a purpose, a reason for connecting – what are you creating? Do you have goals around what you are creating and how it looks? Do you know what you are creating?
These are fabulous areas of your relationship to look at? If you see something you don’t like, contemplate how it could look different? Is your partner on board with this?
What do you want to change? What has to change? Do you know how to change it?
Once you can see something you want to change in your life, you’re already half way to making that change. Seeing it is the first step. Then you will also see what the options are, perhaps you will take opportunities as they come up that you may never have seen? Perhaps you and your partner may engage and communicate on a whole different level, just contemplating these things.
What do you truly want?
Being in relationship is a gift – a gift to yourself and a gift to the other. Your partner is your mirror and an amazing gift if you choose it to be so. To nurture the flowing of your own soul, and to nurture the flowering of another – wow – this is where magic and miracles flow.